52 Ways: #14 Spa Day for her

Treat your pastor’s wife to a spa day.*

As a woman I must confess that I love anything spa related.  I love massages, facials, and mani’s and pedi’s.  I think it is the feeling of being pampered – even if it is only for an hour.  There is just something luxurious about a good quality spa that is reviving to one’s spirit.  I don’t think I’m alone in that feeling or the spa industry wouldn’t be growing so rapidly.

Let’s face it, life is stressful.  Life as the wife of a ministry leader is doubly stressful because our lives are lived in a fishbowl, as it were.  Everyone in the church is aware of who we are.  Just because we said “I do” to the man we are somehow elevated above the rest and we are held to a higher degree of scrutiny.  The same goes for our kids, for reasons I have yet to understand.  It isn’t fair, but there it is.  It is reality for the majority of ministry wives.

At times, ministry wives are also invisible.  It is a paradox, isn’t it?  On one hand she is highly scrutinized, i.e., what she’s wearing, what she drives, who her friends are, whether she works outside of the home or not, the cleanliness of her home or lack thereof, and the list goes on and on.  On the other hand she feels invisible because her husband is recognized for his contributions to the church, but the woman behind the man is ignored.  I don’t know how many times I was introduced as Mrs. Pastor Ken or “the pastor’s wife” because the person making the introduction didn’t know my name!

Have you ever considered how much of a pastor’s time is spent at the church, at meetings, making visitations, counseling, and other ministry-related endeavors that keep him away from home many, many evenings?  It is the nature of his job, I know, but during all of that time away from home there is usually a woman who is home – alone.  If the pastor and his wife have children, then the wife is at home feeding children, supervising homework, overseeing baths and putting children to bed without the aid of her spouse.  Even if she went into the marriage with her eyes wide open and completely aware of all of the ways in which his job would intrude on family time (which, let’s face it, NO ONE is completely prepared for life as a PW) it is still a difficult life at times.

So here’s where a spa day comes in.  It isn’t mandatory, but it sure is a nice way to tell your pastor’s wife that you appreciate her and her contributions to your church.  There are so many ways to accomplish this as well that don’t have to break the bank.  Here are a few suggestions:

Gather a group of ladies and invite her for lunch and a pedicure.

Ask several people to contribute to a group spa day for all of the pastor’s wives to enjoy together on a Saturday morning.

Arrange a free makeover at the Elizabeth Arden or some other counter at the mall department store and then take her to coffee.

Do you have any other suggestions?  Have you ever surprised your pastor’s wife (or been surprised yourself) with something like a spa day?  As with any of these 52 Ways, we’d love to hear your thoughts!


*We recognize that there are many women pastors and that all posts don’t apply equally to men and women in ministry.  We try to be gender neutral and when the use of he/she or him/her is too cumbersome we default to the masculine pronoun.  The reverse is true for referring to the pastor’s spouse.  We hope that you can read past these masculine and feminine pronouns to the spirit behind each post —- creative ways to be a blessing to those who serve us…..and their spouses.

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