Take him and his wife to lunch or her and her husband to lunch…….
Lunch. The meal between breakfast and dinner. It is usually much cheaper than dinner and eaten more leisurely than breakfast. This is a great time to invite your pastor and his wife (even children) out for a meal in order to get to know them better and a great way to show your appreciation. Because everyone eats, right?
Sunday may or may not be the best day to take your pastor and his wife/family to lunch. Your pastor may be near-comatose by the time church is over, the people are gone, and the church doors are locked. He may need to go directly home, stuff a burrito in his mouth, and hit the hay for an afternoon nap. Depending on the ages of his children (if any), they may also need to get to bed quickly. In that case, lunch after church would definitely not be the blessing you intended it to be, but another event to grind through, even though they would appreciate the sentiment.
How do you know if Sundays are good for an after church lunch? Simple. Ask. If Sundays are less than ideal then plan another day of the week. Sometimes midweek lunch dates are a welcome change of pace and quite a treat, especially if the kids are in school and the pastor’s wife can enjoy adult conversation uninterrupted by little ones.
Here are a few tips regarding lunch:
Including your pastor’s wife in the invitation speaks volumes to her. Quite often she feels overlooked and unappreciated for her contribution to the church. If she has small children or works outside of the home give her plenty of options and time to make arrangements. Spur of the moment is great, if it works, but can leave a PW (pastor’s wife) feeling sad and resentful if she is constantly left out of invitations due of other obligations. Work around her schedule!
Consider their dietary needs before issuing the invitation. If all you can afford is Taco Bell and he is on a restricted low salt/low fat diet then it could be rather awkward. Consider a midafternoon get together at a local coffee house instead.
If you ask, and they decline due to other obligations, don’t get your feelings hurt! Just make a date for another time that works for all parties involved.
Don’t be afraid to issue an invitation. Don’t assume your pastor is busy. Don’t assume they have more invitations than they can handle. Don’t assume, period. You’d be surprised at the lack of invitations because people made the assumption that the pastor and his wife couldn’t attend a particular function. Your pastor and his wife are humans who enjoy community with others! So ask already!
So how about it? Are you feeling encouraged to extend an invitation? We’d love to hear about it!
**We recognize that there are many women pastors and that all posts don’t apply equally to men and women in ministry. We try to be gender neutral and when the use of he/she or him/her is too cumbersome we default to the masculine pronoun. The reverse is true for referring to the pastor’s spouse. We hope that you can read past these masculine and feminine pronouns to the spirit behind each post —- creative ways to be a blessing to those who serve us…..and their spouses.